Firstly, anyone hankering for the days when we did proper updates instead of this tosh might like to pay a visit to Arena Magazine's excellent website, where we've contributed a short piece about swearing on telly, and how there really should be more of it. Expect a more comprehensive version of the same piece on here in the near-ish future. But for now, we present:
The Top 50 TVTimes Genre Icons of the 1970s - Part Two: 1974 (Part One)
Well, it's the year of our birth, so why not split it into two parts, confusing subheading or not, eh?
Spooky Gawp Camera Action Time
Cyril and Edmond soon regretted moving into the flat with the massively oversized keyhole in the front door. That voyeuristic cameraman looks utterly delighted by his actions, doesn't he? So much so that he's completely forgotten about the 'candid' part of the programme title. 'Glaringly Obvious Camera' would be a more accurate title for what is going on here.
Leader Choosey-Time Night
Ah, one of the many General Elections of the 1970s. Going by our knowledge of the period, pieced together as it is from the many documentary clip shows on BBC Four, the UK held general elections on a monthly basis in 1974, with Ted Heath, Jim Callaghan, Harold Wilson, Lulu, Chelsea striker Peter Osgood and animated patriarch Father Flump all spending varying amounts of time in office at Number Ten. The political turmoil of the age is represented here by an Avant-garde representation of the voting process; a car wearing a bow-tie on a stick (representing the finery of the Conservative Party), some novelty clothes pegs (representing the Labour Party's earthy grittiness), and a bloke doing his pools coupon (which the Liberal Party's Jeremy Thorpe had plenty of time to do. A-ha-ha-ha).
After-Dark Stubble-Strewn Epic Time
"I know what you're thinking, Large Jake. Will you be able to draw your pistol before my pardner, the great big floating orb from The Prisoner envelopes you with his eerily floaty torso? I'm saying... no."
The Gallivanting Gastro
Graham is making a kedgeree that is so very unusual. The ingredients include - as shown in the picture - some boiled question marks and various fungi larger in size than a turkey. For added unusual points, he has also pressed Scrabble letters into the mixing bowl that spell out the names of everyone who has wronged him since grammar school. Oh Graham!
Ha Ha! They've Used The Wrong Picture For This Progra... [Checks Wikipedia] ...Oh.
Still, adopt, adapt and improve, as Graham Chapman's Colonel character used to say. Are those three handlebar-moustachioed men in bowler hats and shoelace neckties firing guns at us, or holding bunches of flowers? If it's the former, why wasn't there a Western all about them? It would have been brilliant. "We're the Hedgepeth Triplets, who the hell are you? What did you say about our matching hats and moustaches? Right, outside!" [STOMPING FEET MOVING FROM CREAKY FLOORBOARDS TO DUSTY EXTERIOR, FOLLOWED BY SOUND OF GUNFIRE x 3] Just imagine a scene where the three of them are twirling their handlebar moustaches wickedly. It would be brilliant.
MORE ICON-BASED HALF-CENTURY JOLLITY THE TIME AFTER NEXT TIME, READERS!
The Top 50 TVTimes Genre Icons of the 1970s - Part Two: 1974 (Part One)
Well, it's the year of our birth, so why not split it into two parts, confusing subheading or not, eh?
Spooky Gawp Camera Action Time
Cyril and Edmond soon regretted moving into the flat with the massively oversized keyhole in the front door. That voyeuristic cameraman looks utterly delighted by his actions, doesn't he? So much so that he's completely forgotten about the 'candid' part of the programme title. 'Glaringly Obvious Camera' would be a more accurate title for what is going on here.
Leader Choosey-Time Night
Ah, one of the many General Elections of the 1970s. Going by our knowledge of the period, pieced together as it is from the many documentary clip shows on BBC Four, the UK held general elections on a monthly basis in 1974, with Ted Heath, Jim Callaghan, Harold Wilson, Lulu, Chelsea striker Peter Osgood and animated patriarch Father Flump all spending varying amounts of time in office at Number Ten. The political turmoil of the age is represented here by an Avant-garde representation of the voting process; a car wearing a bow-tie on a stick (representing the finery of the Conservative Party), some novelty clothes pegs (representing the Labour Party's earthy grittiness), and a bloke doing his pools coupon (which the Liberal Party's Jeremy Thorpe had plenty of time to do. A-ha-ha-ha).
After-Dark Stubble-Strewn Epic Time
"I know what you're thinking, Large Jake. Will you be able to draw your pistol before my pardner, the great big floating orb from The Prisoner envelopes you with his eerily floaty torso? I'm saying... no."
The Gallivanting Gastro
Graham is making a kedgeree that is so very unusual. The ingredients include - as shown in the picture - some boiled question marks and various fungi larger in size than a turkey. For added unusual points, he has also pressed Scrabble letters into the mixing bowl that spell out the names of everyone who has wronged him since grammar school. Oh Graham!
Ha Ha! They've Used The Wrong Picture For This Progra... [Checks Wikipedia] ...Oh.
Still, adopt, adapt and improve, as Graham Chapman's Colonel character used to say. Are those three handlebar-moustachioed men in bowler hats and shoelace neckties firing guns at us, or holding bunches of flowers? If it's the former, why wasn't there a Western all about them? It would have been brilliant. "We're the Hedgepeth Triplets, who the hell are you? What did you say about our matching hats and moustaches? Right, outside!" [STOMPING FEET MOVING FROM CREAKY FLOORBOARDS TO DUSTY EXTERIOR, FOLLOWED BY SOUND OF GUNFIRE x 3] Just imagine a scene where the three of them are twirling their handlebar moustaches wickedly. It would be brilliant.
MORE ICON-BASED HALF-CENTURY JOLLITY THE TIME AFTER NEXT TIME, READERS!
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